PROCRASTINATION= PJ's First Plane Ride

OK so i first became a nurse in 1997. I have had to renew my license every2 years since then. With the renewal comes a fee and proof of CEUs. They give you a couple of months to do it. But why I ask you, do it months before? When you can be notified by the human resource of your hospital and be told its due that week or you wont work and you can take an exciting trip to California's beautiful capital Sacramento. BETTER YET......spend quality time with your 16 month old son while you do it. And why I ask would you do this trip say in 12 hours when you can do it in 5 hours?
And so that is the lovely day i had today.... I will spare you the details of delayed flights, slower than molasses car rental places, even slower than slower than molasses state employees, streets that are not even streets with street names that are not identified. Bottom line mission accomplished. After spending $450 to accomplish something that could have been done for the cost of a stamp. Good news is PJ had his first flight.

Open Adoption

The words "open adoption" mean so much on so many different levels to so many different people. For us it is contact with our children's placing families of PJ and Mary. When introduced to "open adoption" when we first pursued adoption it was a scarey place. I felt God put barriers there for us to start. Lets face it, I would forever be thankful that not only did they choose life for their "extra" frozen embryos. They chose Peter and I to adopt them. They entrusted us to love and raise them. BUT then there is the fact that your not sure your really going to click with the placing family. Most relationships grow over time, you learn a little about the other and you decide if you would like to grow more. With open adoption, you are thankful but you are not sure your going to like them. I hope this comes out right. Anyways we have been blessed beyond measure with two wonderful placing families. We have grown to love these families. With both families we started with communication through our adoption agency, then moved to emails and then exchanged addresses to exchange family christmas cards.
Both families are very different. Communication is different with each one. Just proves that open adoption is not a cookie cutter cut out of what to do or follow. Over the past few years I became very god friends with a woman who went through IVF and still had 12 embryos left after her family was complete. She chose embryo adoption to place her embryos. I have been able to follow her journey from the time of decision of placing her embryos. It has been such a special friendship and an interesting prespective of a placing families emotions they go through when they do place embryos. She has taught me so much and helped me understand so much more of a placing families experience. Because of my friendship with her Peter and I were open to meeting one of our children's placing families in January this year. It was so wonderful to meet the family we had been in contact with. Special times and special meomories. Next month we are meeting that same placing mom and her mother in law (techniqually one of my children's genetic grandmother). I feel very blessed the way God weaved our families together with wonderful people that I can like enough to meet not only once but twice. Now my prayer is that the other one of my children's placing family we will get to meet some day. I will leave that to God and His timing.
I think and pray for my children's "first families." Galina and Anya have some family in Russia. I think of them often and pray for them. I also think of their family that have passed away. Then I think of PJ and Mary's placing families and pray for them. Such important people in this world. I am thankful for them.

My Father

In just a few weeks it on March 3rd, it will be the 10 year anniversary of my fathers death. I remember the day vividly. It is a day I experienced pain like I had never before. My dad was the best Dad in the world. He drove over an hour everyday to work to LA, worked a full day only to do the same drive home. He would leave about 5:30 am or 6 am everyday. When he would get home we would run up to him and he would sit in a chair and put his four youngest children on his knees (two kids on each knee) and sing silly songs with us while tapping his feet so we would go up and down. Silly songs he sang "Someones in the kitchen with dina" "who gunda stow my saxophone" and Alouette. I am not sure if he might have made some of them up but they were a hoot and he would make us laugh. On weekends he would pack us and the neighborhood kids in the car (before seat belt laws and when each kid having their own seat was optional) to the park. Again singing on the way there and back. What amazes me is that after working a full day at work he never complained he was too tired. He never told us kids to go away. I can't imagine having 7 kids that are 8.5 years apart and not being exhausted. Dad was a kidder. If we wanted something he kept us asking while making fun. "dad can we go to the movies?" " i don't know can you?" He was a GENTLEman. He was a religious man. He taught us to be non-judgemental, to be passionate about politics, to talk louder if someone disagrees with you because maybe they don't hear (LOL just kidding but we all do it). Most of all he taught us to love. Love our friends, love our family and more importantly to love God. So when he died that morning in March 1999, it was a great loss. Not just a loss to me but to the world. At his Rosary service more people stood up and spoke about him. They told stories that we had not heard. I learned at that time my dad was a humble man. He received medals in the army during the Korean war that none of us even knew, even my mother. Mom and Dad were married 40 years at the time of his death. This year would have been their 50th. The amount I miss him I am sure is NOTHING compared to her missing him. They were a team. OK so I babble (what else is new?).

My reason to this post was to share something a few weeks after my passed away. It was a Saturday and most people know Peter and I go to mass every Saturday night. We go with my mom, my sister Annette and her husband and four girls, and my sister Jeanne, her husband and three girls. After mass we go to dinner. On Saturday, March 27th a few weeks after my dad had died I was at Mass in deep prayer when I looked down at my shoulder and saw a feather. I took the feather and put it in my pocket. At dinner I shared what had happened and told my family that I believed Dad or a guardian angel was present and lost a feather. I shared this while all teary eyed. To which my family, laughingly said "yeah that's right Sue an angel left its feather!" They made me feel a bit foolish but I kept my feather anyways. The next morning my phone began ringing early. Two of my sisters had called to tell me to read the Sunday funnies. Specifically "The Family Circus." When I did I laughed and cried. What a precious gift. I have kept it over the years and found it today and thought I would share it on my blog.

The first caption reads"No, Love.-- we don't see many angels in our yard"
The second caption reads "the feather is probably from a pigeon."

Called Home To Be With Jesus

Saturday morning, also Valentines Day, I got a call from my cousin Rose. She called to let me know that her sweet mom, my adorable Aunt Rosemary was called home to be with Jesus. At peace and restful. I am sad. Selfish I know. Aunt Rosemary wore her heart on her sleeve. She was there for almost every birth in the family, illness at a hospital or small or big party. She went to mass with us every Saturday Night (until the last few years when the cold got to be much) and dinner to follow. She was even there most vacations becuase she was my mom's travel buddy. She loved her nieces and nephews with so much love and loved and entertained our children with just as much zest. She rarely complained but laughed often. Aunt Rosemary you will be missed and always loved......til we meet again.

Aunt Rosemary Update

Aunt Rosemary was transfered to a different hospital. Her latest C-Scan showed a decreased in swelling on the brain. A biopsy came back from when they did brain surgery and the bleed was discovered to be caused by an AVM an atrialvenous malformation. People can have AVMS just about anywhere (I see them occassionally in the stomach or colon with GI bleeds) and can bleed anytime or never. MY aunt has evidently had this AVM all her life, it could have bled anytime in her life (My sister, an ICU nurse, cared for a 12 year old girl that sustained major brain injury when hers bled). God chose to have this happen now at 82 years of age. Knowing this information we feel blessed that it took 82 years (although we wished she was one that never bled). She is still in a coma. However with so much swellling on the brain that is to be expected. We pray now that the swelling is going down that a miracle will happen and she will wake up. It has been 2 and 1/2 weeks of a coma so far. A long process (but I am told it always is with brain injuries). We continue to visit (I am only able to visit 4 to 5 times a week but my mom, cousins visit everyday and my sisters visit on off days). Please continue to pray for my aunt.

Let It Snow, Let It Snow Let IT snow!!!!!

OK so ANya and Galina have been begging to go to the snow every year since moving here from Russia in 2005. We finally took them in January. They loved it! I have to say though I don't think they could handle living in it anymore.

Christmas 2008

Ok so I am a little late posting Christmas pictures.

Looking for reindeer and Santa

Putting carrots down for the reindeer

Sitting in 4 new beanbag chairs from Santa!