"Play Another One Sam" PJ playing the Piano.

He finally is saying it!

Today PJ is FINALLY saying Momma to me. And at one point today while nursing he stopped, put his face next to mine and gave me a big ol hug. PJ melted mommy's heart today and made her proud.

What a sweet baby boy i have.

PROCRASTINATION= PJ's First Plane Ride

OK so i first became a nurse in 1997. I have had to renew my license every2 years since then. With the renewal comes a fee and proof of CEUs. They give you a couple of months to do it. But why I ask you, do it months before? When you can be notified by the human resource of your hospital and be told its due that week or you wont work and you can take an exciting trip to California's beautiful capital Sacramento. BETTER YET......spend quality time with your 16 month old son while you do it. And why I ask would you do this trip say in 12 hours when you can do it in 5 hours?
And so that is the lovely day i had today.... I will spare you the details of delayed flights, slower than molasses car rental places, even slower than slower than molasses state employees, streets that are not even streets with street names that are not identified. Bottom line mission accomplished. After spending $450 to accomplish something that could have been done for the cost of a stamp. Good news is PJ had his first flight.

Open Adoption

The words "open adoption" mean so much on so many different levels to so many different people. For us it is contact with our children's placing families of PJ and Mary. When introduced to "open adoption" when we first pursued adoption it was a scarey place. I felt God put barriers there for us to start. Lets face it, I would forever be thankful that not only did they choose life for their "extra" frozen embryos. They chose Peter and I to adopt them. They entrusted us to love and raise them. BUT then there is the fact that your not sure your really going to click with the placing family. Most relationships grow over time, you learn a little about the other and you decide if you would like to grow more. With open adoption, you are thankful but you are not sure your going to like them. I hope this comes out right. Anyways we have been blessed beyond measure with two wonderful placing families. We have grown to love these families. With both families we started with communication through our adoption agency, then moved to emails and then exchanged addresses to exchange family christmas cards.
Both families are very different. Communication is different with each one. Just proves that open adoption is not a cookie cutter cut out of what to do or follow. Over the past few years I became very god friends with a woman who went through IVF and still had 12 embryos left after her family was complete. She chose embryo adoption to place her embryos. I have been able to follow her journey from the time of decision of placing her embryos. It has been such a special friendship and an interesting prespective of a placing families emotions they go through when they do place embryos. She has taught me so much and helped me understand so much more of a placing families experience. Because of my friendship with her Peter and I were open to meeting one of our children's placing families in January this year. It was so wonderful to meet the family we had been in contact with. Special times and special meomories. Next month we are meeting that same placing mom and her mother in law (techniqually one of my children's genetic grandmother). I feel very blessed the way God weaved our families together with wonderful people that I can like enough to meet not only once but twice. Now my prayer is that the other one of my children's placing family we will get to meet some day. I will leave that to God and His timing.
I think and pray for my children's "first families." Galina and Anya have some family in Russia. I think of them often and pray for them. I also think of their family that have passed away. Then I think of PJ and Mary's placing families and pray for them. Such important people in this world. I am thankful for them.

My Father

In just a few weeks it on March 3rd, it will be the 10 year anniversary of my fathers death. I remember the day vividly. It is a day I experienced pain like I had never before. My dad was the best Dad in the world. He drove over an hour everyday to work to LA, worked a full day only to do the same drive home. He would leave about 5:30 am or 6 am everyday. When he would get home we would run up to him and he would sit in a chair and put his four youngest children on his knees (two kids on each knee) and sing silly songs with us while tapping his feet so we would go up and down. Silly songs he sang "Someones in the kitchen with dina" "who gunda stow my saxophone" and Alouette. I am not sure if he might have made some of them up but they were a hoot and he would make us laugh. On weekends he would pack us and the neighborhood kids in the car (before seat belt laws and when each kid having their own seat was optional) to the park. Again singing on the way there and back. What amazes me is that after working a full day at work he never complained he was too tired. He never told us kids to go away. I can't imagine having 7 kids that are 8.5 years apart and not being exhausted. Dad was a kidder. If we wanted something he kept us asking while making fun. "dad can we go to the movies?" " i don't know can you?" He was a GENTLEman. He was a religious man. He taught us to be non-judgemental, to be passionate about politics, to talk louder if someone disagrees with you because maybe they don't hear (LOL just kidding but we all do it). Most of all he taught us to love. Love our friends, love our family and more importantly to love God. So when he died that morning in March 1999, it was a great loss. Not just a loss to me but to the world. At his Rosary service more people stood up and spoke about him. They told stories that we had not heard. I learned at that time my dad was a humble man. He received medals in the army during the Korean war that none of us even knew, even my mother. Mom and Dad were married 40 years at the time of his death. This year would have been their 50th. The amount I miss him I am sure is NOTHING compared to her missing him. They were a team. OK so I babble (what else is new?).

My reason to this post was to share something a few weeks after my passed away. It was a Saturday and most people know Peter and I go to mass every Saturday night. We go with my mom, my sister Annette and her husband and four girls, and my sister Jeanne, her husband and three girls. After mass we go to dinner. On Saturday, March 27th a few weeks after my dad had died I was at Mass in deep prayer when I looked down at my shoulder and saw a feather. I took the feather and put it in my pocket. At dinner I shared what had happened and told my family that I believed Dad or a guardian angel was present and lost a feather. I shared this while all teary eyed. To which my family, laughingly said "yeah that's right Sue an angel left its feather!" They made me feel a bit foolish but I kept my feather anyways. The next morning my phone began ringing early. Two of my sisters had called to tell me to read the Sunday funnies. Specifically "The Family Circus." When I did I laughed and cried. What a precious gift. I have kept it over the years and found it today and thought I would share it on my blog.

The first caption reads"No, Love.-- we don't see many angels in our yard"
The second caption reads "the feather is probably from a pigeon."

Called Home To Be With Jesus

Saturday morning, also Valentines Day, I got a call from my cousin Rose. She called to let me know that her sweet mom, my adorable Aunt Rosemary was called home to be with Jesus. At peace and restful. I am sad. Selfish I know. Aunt Rosemary wore her heart on her sleeve. She was there for almost every birth in the family, illness at a hospital or small or big party. She went to mass with us every Saturday Night (until the last few years when the cold got to be much) and dinner to follow. She was even there most vacations becuase she was my mom's travel buddy. She loved her nieces and nephews with so much love and loved and entertained our children with just as much zest. She rarely complained but laughed often. Aunt Rosemary you will be missed and always loved......til we meet again.

Aunt Rosemary Update

Aunt Rosemary was transfered to a different hospital. Her latest C-Scan showed a decreased in swelling on the brain. A biopsy came back from when they did brain surgery and the bleed was discovered to be caused by an AVM an atrialvenous malformation. People can have AVMS just about anywhere (I see them occassionally in the stomach or colon with GI bleeds) and can bleed anytime or never. MY aunt has evidently had this AVM all her life, it could have bled anytime in her life (My sister, an ICU nurse, cared for a 12 year old girl that sustained major brain injury when hers bled). God chose to have this happen now at 82 years of age. Knowing this information we feel blessed that it took 82 years (although we wished she was one that never bled). She is still in a coma. However with so much swellling on the brain that is to be expected. We pray now that the swelling is going down that a miracle will happen and she will wake up. It has been 2 and 1/2 weeks of a coma so far. A long process (but I am told it always is with brain injuries). We continue to visit (I am only able to visit 4 to 5 times a week but my mom, cousins visit everyday and my sisters visit on off days). Please continue to pray for my aunt.

Let It Snow, Let It Snow Let IT snow!!!!!

OK so ANya and Galina have been begging to go to the snow every year since moving here from Russia in 2005. We finally took them in January. They loved it! I have to say though I don't think they could handle living in it anymore.

Christmas 2008

Ok so I am a little late posting Christmas pictures.

Looking for reindeer and Santa

Putting carrots down for the reindeer

Sitting in 4 new beanbag chairs from Santa!

NBC wont allow prolife ad for the superbowl.

Its a shame. I think it is powerful and thought I would share for anyone who has not seen it.

http://www.catholicvote.com/

Aunt Rosemary Update

Today is Friday and there has not been any significant changes with her. She does open her eyes when taken to CATscan and when she is laid flat for position changes. She still is on the vent. She does appear to move her right arm towards the intubation tube. Her scans show that she still has significant amount of swelling on her brain and the second bleed is not smaller. She also was started on antibiotics today for suspected pneumonia. We continue to pray for a miracle. The prayers right now would be for the infection to go away, the swelling to go down and bleeding to stop and be absorbed. With that we believe my sweet Aunt will wake up. Her children could use some prayers as they continue to encourage their mom at bedside.

Pictures Of PJ

Just a few shots of PJ. I just love to watch him. He is all boy and such a joy!

Sweet Sixteen Birthday Party!

This past week we FINALLY had Anya's sweet sixteen party. Her birthday was in December but with being so busy with the holidays and then her having to work on her grades. She had her finals last Friday so we had a party on Saturday. She invited her whole class and a few friends from her old class and a few cousins. There is about 23 students in her sophomore class and about 9 came all the way from San Marcos (about a 40 minute drive). In all there were about 12 kids. They played Guitar Hero and Dance revolution on the WII. Watched a movie and ate. I have to say I am so impressed with the kids that came to her party. They all were an awesome group of kids and I appreciated all the parents that drove them.

Aunt Rosemary Update

She still has not opened her eyes. Late last week she had a second bleed but not significant enough to do surgery on. This bleed most likely has set her recovery time back a few more weeks. I pray every day she will open her beautiful blue eyes. While visiting I tease her about the cute male nurses taking care of her. Amazing how we take those around us for granted til one day the carpet is pooled out from under them and you cant talk to them, you cant tell them how much they are appreciated and loved. Our family conitues to pray for her recovery. We continue to pray for her childrens hearts as they endure the waiting at bedside. Waiting for a miracle. A few days ago Peter found a voicemail on our answering machine. It was Aunt Rosemary. She had left a message the morning this all happened, looking for me to give her ride to her daughters.....sigh.

Reflections And The Request For Prayer

Wow...what a crummy day. A sad one. One that I hope some day I can reflect back on and see different than tonight. Today after getting off work I check my voicemail to find out my Aunt Rosemary had a stroke and went to the emergency room. Having experience in caring for the elderly for 10 years of my life, I know there is varying degrees. Nothing could have prepared me for when I went to the hospital. My Aunt was on a ventilator and they were preparing her for surgrey to cut her skull and clean up the bleed around her brain. My sweet Aunt laying there with her daughters at her bedside. Surgery was a success is the fact that she survived it. Our next goal is to have her get through the next 48 hours. After 48 hours with out complications then they can evaluate what damage has been done.
No for the reflections. My Aunt lives in the same town as me. Her daughter (my cousin) lives very close to Anya's school 45 minutes away from our town. At the last minute today, my Aunt and her daughter decided she would get a ride from me (while I take Anya to school) to my cousin's house. I was working today but my sister a very skilled critical care nurse was taking Anya. On the drive there my sister noticed signs of my Aunt having a possible stroke, getting her the help sooner than if my Aunt was at home by herself. SO for that I am thankful. I can definitely see God's hand at work here. I have to believe there will be a miracle with my aunt. She has a very special place in my heart and I am not ready to lose her.
If anyone reads this could you please pray for her?

Free Coffee Card Giveaway

A dear friend of mine whom I adore is doing a Starbucks free coffee card giveaway. All you do is visit her blog at http://wingerteam.blogspot.com/ and post what nicknames you call your kids or what you were called as a kid. She will pull a name from all those that entered to win a gift card to Starbucks. Even if you are not interested in the coffee card stop by anyways and see the AMAZING journey this family has been on to grow their family thru adoption. This family is one of the most beautiful families and I am so humbled when I am around them. Their love for Christ and their faith in HIM is such a beautiful testament. When I met Faith she had three children, less than a year later and a trip to Liberia and a suprise domestic adoption she was a mother of SIX children. Faith is a wonder mom and she constantly awes me.

Questions About Santa!

OK so the questions were not asked of me but I overheard them. Mary and Galina are busy making late birthday cards for Anya. I am in the other room when I overhear Mary ask Galina "what did Santa look like as a baby? and Who took care of him?"

Ok made this mamma chuckle! I love my kids.

I am so happy they are out of school for two weeks (Mary gets three). Galina had her Christmas program this morning. Very precious to see children sing their hearts out for their parents and for Jesus. Makes me sad Mary goes to public school they had no performance (I know shocking!).

Tomorrow we have a cookie exchange with all 5 sisters and my brother and my mom. I am bringing 7 dozen cookies tomorrow at 1 pm. I have made none so far. Looks like a late night of baking!

Sweet Sixteen!

Well yesterday Anya turned 16. Hard to believe the shy little 12 year old we met is now a beautiful confident 16 year old. She has grown so much. She is 5'8" (taller than me now) and so beautiful inside and out. Peter and I each worte her a note sharing how proud we are of her and thankful that GOd blessed us with her. We also gave her a ring we purchased in Russia that has a stone that is mined in RUssia (my bad, cant remeber the name of the stone :) I will have to look it up). We had Grandma, Aunt Annette, Uncle Bill and their girls come over for a celebration of dinner and cake and ice cream. Speaking of cake, this time of year is always so busy with preparing for Christmas that I usually purchase a store bought cake for ANya's birthday. This year I woke up early and made a homemade birthday cake. Ok I should clarify that homemade in my vocabulary is homemade from a box. Anyways I decorated it real pretty with using candy canes broken into the shapes of letters spelling out "Happy 16th Birthday ANya" It was adorable if I might say so myself. I had purchased a nice plastic tray (but did not look like plastic) to put her cake on. It looked fabulous. Well before going out to run errands and pick the girls up from school I noticed a fly in the house (unusual in the winter) so I put the cake in the oven to keep the fly off of it.
Well all afternoon I ran errands (mostly picking up kids from school). On the way home I stopped by to get some dinner and called Peter who was already home from work. I asked him to throw some chicken nuggets in the oven for my younger nieces in case they didn't want what I was serving. I got home to find out Peter had nopt done what I had asked so I turned on the oven and flew around the kitchen to do the final preparations for dinner when something began smelling odd. Finally my mom said something and it dawned on me! Anya's cake was in the oven on the lovely plastic tray. I opened the oven to find the tray had completely melted in my oven (can you say toxic cake?) I had to throw the cake witht the melted tray attached in the trash.....I could have cried I spent all morning on that beauty! Oh well she ended up with a store bought cake after (seeing a tradition forming here).
All was well and I think Anya enjoyed her birthday!
Happy Birthday ANya!
I will have to post pictures later!

Exciting Week for The Murray Girls!

Anya started basketball at her new school and had her first two games this past week. They only have one team and it is varsity. She got a chance to play in both games. I will have to try and take pictures next time. Anya also had her school winter formal that she attended. We went out and bought her a pretty red dress and she looked so beautiful as ususal.

Of course I forgot to take pictures, so I stole one from her camera. She said she had a great time. She loves her new school with only 90 something students in the high school she says its like a family. The kids are great that go there.

Galina had a HUGE week. She made honor roll this semester and if she was going to a public school she would have had a 4.0 (her school considers a 90 to 92% a B). Anyways she was thrilled and so were we. School has always been such a struggle but she is doing awesome this year. Reading a book a week has really helped her! We are so proud of her!

Finally PJ, my sweet boy is cruising all over the place. STILL not saying mamma (stubborn boy) but an absolute joy!

The Murray History of The Christmas Tree!

Ok over the years Peter and I actually thought our marriage would come to an end over Christmas trees. The pressure of it all. I always romancitized the going out to find a tree with your sweetheart, cutting it down and bringing it home and decorating it while a bing Crosby song plays in the backround with a warm fire crackling in the fireplace, stealing sweet kisses between hanging each oranament and just feeling warm and fuzzy and lovey dovey. Murray Reality? We would go to the tree farm where none of the trees looked perfect til an hour into it and then all the trees looked the same. You get your perfect tree home only to find out that a 10 foot treee does not look as big outside on the tree farm as it does in your livingroom. I guess we always had an eye for big, tall and fat trees. We could never find a stand to hold our trees even after buying everyone on the market and having everyone we know invited over to assist with getting it to stand up. We ALWAYS ended up wrapping some rope (the straw stuff that my dad always had on hand while growing up) around the tree and attaching it to a nail in the wall. So by the time our tree did stand up we always had to decorate it the next day and then there were the LIGHTS. What ever man invented the little white strand of whites that if one light goes out they all go out was not an inventor but an idiot and I mean that in the most christian tone I can give. LOL! So by the time the tree stodd and the lights all lit. . . . . we had shared a few choice words that did not include stealing quick little kisses in between. So the year we adopted our Russian Princesses, after 16 married Christmas' were the tree issue each year was more difficult than our infertilty we purchased an artificial tree prelit (the kind of lights that one can go out and not ruin the strand). It was a neccessaity for the salvation of our marriage and Praise God for it!

Today we decorated the tree. . . . and it was peaceful and sweet. the kids like to hang ornaments up all in the same area which adds charm.

Here is the final project.